What the hell is a real American.

I usually keep my mouth shut when it comes to politics but I am really pissed off now. How dare mccan/palin refer to people as real american or real america. I love this country and my friends and family are fighting for it. I came from a small town. I used to go to church. I even come from a red state. I am so mad I don't even know what to say. I am not only mad but really hurts. It makes me want to cry that someone like me would not be considerd a real american. As far as I am concerned the real americans are our native americans who the "real americans" plundered and raped their people and took their land. In todays world we have to move away from this because "real american" would probably just call that the past. I take this as truly hateful remark and we all should be upset if your a real american or not. Why don't they just start referring to everyone who is not a republican as a spic, nigger, fag or poor. (sorry for the harsh words I am making a point.
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Life, love, and daily expirence

Disclaimer: No new news. This is just a blog about my thoughts and feelings.

My poor love is sick and it makes me sad. Mark is such a vibrant person who rants and raves about politic and religion. He is a man who knows what he believes. Yes, sometimes he drives me crazy with his passion and excitement for this I would never even think twice about but I think overall he has helped make me a smarter person. Not that I wasn't smart without him but he helped get my passion for learning burning. Mark's biggest accomplishment with me was getting me reading. Now that I actually read books I realize how important they are. Books get our brains working. They allow us to explore our imaginations and open us to new ideas. Now that I read books I see how effortless and enjoyable it is. (No offense to anyone) People who don't read books or say they can't get into them are lazy. I used to have all the same excuses. Sure it might take the right book to get into but with a little fun investigation you will find the perfect book. Also going and getting a Mocha Latte and walking around Barnes and Noble is one of mine and Marks favorite activity. Even if we do not buy anything it's still worth the trip.

When you have to stop worrying about petty problems and start worrying about someone's life it changes your paradigm on your daily experience. You still have to keep living life as you normally do but you start to treasure the small moments. They are the moments that pass you by without noticing, the same old, same old. The moments I treasure most are the little kisses from Mark and Cookie and the kisses between them. Mark's tendency to sniff his hands, (I don't know why he does it but it makes me laugh) Mark yelling at the tv during video games and sports usually pisses me off but like I said he has a certain passion.

As gruff as he thinks he is, he gentle and kind. I appreciate how lucky I have been to find a man who loves me as much or more then I love him especially at such a young age. He still cracks my toes on daily basis and rubs my back to help put me to sleep. I don't wear shoes that often so I don't have the cleanest feet. What other girl could say that after 6 1/2 years of marriage and 9 years of being together?

I am not stress, sad, or afraid (at least in this moment in time). I do have hope for life in whatever situation may happen. Life only ends when you want it to and Mark and I will not let it end. Love last forever this life and the next.

Someone left a shopping cart in my yard!!

Who would leave a shopping cart in my yard. I don't live in a trash neighborhood. I think it was some of the dumb kids. My husband probably has cancer and someone is messing with us. What a cruel world we live in.

New baby in the Family

It's been an exciting day. Trey Jackson was born today weighing 7 lbs 6oz and 21 inches at 10:10am.

Politics make me laugh!

Wow. At this point I am voting 3rd party. In Utah it does not matter because everyone here votes republican. I still think its important to vote so I will go with Nater. This is just to funny. I think we are screwed with no matter who wins.

I could have killed her!

Right before we got up today, Cookie choose to puke all over Mark and I as we slept in bed. It wasn't just puke. She had been eating poop. Oh lucky me. It stunk so bad. I made Mark clean up. He actually did a pretty good cleaning up.

I am an Ass. Sorry Amber.

So I woke up to 12 missed phone calls. Amber started to have contractions and thought she was having the baby. I called my dad and he told me to call Amber. No babies today. I called Amber. She was pretty mad. All she wanted was me. My phone was on silent and I missed all the call. I can't let this happen again. If i missed the baby being born I would never forgive myself.

My YouTube Brandi Player

Summer Reading!

Stabbed in the Back on Travian

I can not believe my best friend Melissa. Seen here with me, Mark and Jim. She got me hooked on this internet game travian and she is quitting because its taking to much time away from her kids. It's like duh Melissa, What's more important? Me on travian or your damn kids. It's so me. I am you best friend. Your kids can totally fend for themselves. Olive is like 2 now. I was cooking top ramen by that age. Sit those kids down in front of the tv and give them some ceareal already. If they get out of line hit them over the head with a hair bush like mom my did to me. I turned out fine. ;) You know I am kidding. By quitting travian it gives you one less escape from you screaming children. Oh well. I love you anyway.

Cookies new hair cut

Mark gave Cookie this awesome hair cut. That is pretty much all I can say. The picture show shows how crazy she looks.

Nate came over!

Our good friend Nate came over tonight brought some pizza and played some rockband with us. It's nice to have good friends that you can just chill with.

Tumor Eye Jack

Jack has a tumor under his left eye lid and is going to have the rest of his teeth removed. Thats what happends when you get old. Jackson is 10-12 years old. We adopted him he was like 4. The people we got him from didn't remember how old he was. We have had him for 6 years. He has had most of his teeth removed. Now he is going to get the rest removed. The remaining 6-7 that is. I love my old man. He should still have a long happy life. He is very heathy other then having a gross face. He will be fine with no teeth. He swallows his food whole anyway. He is still my handsome Jack.

Laser and White

Today I went with Dom to get my Laser hair removal. It was pretty cool. It didn't hurt. There were a few spots in my arm pits that mad me jump and a painful vein on the back of my leg. My tatoo hurt worse. I think this is the coolest thing ever. I will never have to shave my pits or my legs again. OH YEAH. I think the next thing I want to do is get my teeth whittend. If you look at my picture my teeth are not yellow but a natural color. At least I think. I don't think they look bad but eveyone has really white teeth so I need to jump on this band wagon as well being the totally vain person I am. I go to weight watchers in the morning. I better have lost weight. My pants are looser but I gained a pound last week when I weighed in. We shall find out tomorrow.

I married a sweet man and he still loves me!

The other day Mark was being a real ass. Everything that came out of his mouth was so rude. I don't remember what he said. I don't dwell on it as much as most women would. I almost choose to sleep on the couch because he had pissed me off so bad. He went to bed way before me and at about 3 am I climbed into bed with him. Half asleep he turned over and said that he was sorry. He said that he had a dream I was mad at him (which I was) and wanted to apologize. He said he felt bad and was just really stressed out and kissed me. Most men never apologize so i think it is very significant when he does because he is so sincere and special. I am lucky to have a man who is willing to say sorry. I say sorry all the time and I work hard to realize when I am being a bitch. I don't like hurting my loves feelings.

Does laser hair removal hurt?

I guess I will find out tomorrow. Dom is taking me to get hair free. I really don't care for pain.

What I will be doing this summer at Bear Lake!

We have so much fun and the water is beautiful.

Rock Band

I guess we are just total nerds. We play Rock Band like its work. Our "group" 8 Fold Path is number 10 (or at least the last time I check) on the PS3 network. Highest rank is an8. We have spent countless hours labouring over the game getting our scores up. Our highest score was on Co&Ca Welcome Home with over 2 million points. I really like it. It's something to do. I do the singing even though there are others who are better at it. I am really good at matching the way the real artist sing. Mark is an awesome drummer. Nick is bass and Josh is guitar. Come on over and we will show you how cool we are and have some fun.



I realized how ugly I look when I sing. Mark has a kidney stone so his drumming was not what it usually is. He still got a 99%.





Here is a video of Mark and I. The video with all members is to come.

Leona is the cutest baby ever!

My niece Leona is 17 months old. I am amazed how fast she is growing and how smart she is. I love getting pix messages from my sisters. They are in California and I am in Utah so I don't get to see little Leo that often. She is a happy little baby. We get told a lot that she looks like Tom Cruise's baby Suri. When I have kids I hope they are just as cute as my Leona.

I love my Dad.

Every year my dad's work puts on a fund raiser for Primary Children's hospital. They always have my dad cook because they get more donations when he is out there bbqing. I helped a few week ago and got an awful sun burn. It was worth it. My niece and nephew have both been hospitalized there when they were younger. Both my parents donate there time every year to do this. I think it is great of them. They live in a small town and manage to raise more money then the rich town 20 minutes away. Last Monday my dad stepped on a screw that went almost all the way through his foot and he was out there working all day Friday and Saturday. People should really donate there time more.

People on YouTube are crazy.

When I say people on You Tube are crazy I don't mean their videos. I expect to see crazy videos. I am referring to there comments. I have been watching a lot of music videos for Coheed and Rage in the past two days and all people do is start fights with their comments. Its one thing to give constructive criticism but another to say something flat out rude. On the Rage video I was watching some Japanese person left a comment about Americans not winning wars and then every other person has to leave mean comments about what has Japan done lately. Frankly I don't care what either have to say. Its just a damn music video. People leave comments on the Coheed page like, 'That guys sounds like a women and needs a hair cut. Shittiest band ever!" My question to you is, WHY ARE YOU WATCHING IT? All you're doing by leaving those comments is starting a comment war. Leave criticism, I am fine with that. I have yet to see anyone actually leave good criticism. This kind of stuff just shows me how uneducated and mean the masses are. And don't say to me that I have bad grammar or spelt something wrong. I know I do and I don't really care. At least I am a peaceful person who tries to approach each situation with care and not say rude things. All I am trying to say is instead of a comment battle, do a video reply those are much more acceptable for you tube. ;)


http://www.youtube.com/brandigirlio

We got a Wii!

On our search for entertainment tonight at Blockbuster we came across a Wii to purchase. We have never been able to find one. We got the best Nintendo game ever, Mario Kart. We have had so much fun. Mark is in the living room now playing on single player to unlock characters and cars. After about 15 min alone he start yelling and cursing at the game. Its funny, annoying, and cute all at the same time. He is so predictable when it comes to how he will react to video games. Of coarse he is going to play it perfect so its not him who screws up it's the game. And men say women are crazy. LOL! OH well. I still love watching him play and enjoy his frustration. I am so evil.

Cookie Monster is a WEIRDO!!

This little dog drives me crazy. Don't get me wrong. I love this little bitch but she is a wild one. Her bark sounds like a screaming women. When she howls she sounds like a cow. She adores my husband more then anything to the point she wont wake him up to take her out, she wakes me up. She will stand on my head and breath in my face until I get up. She is smart. She lets you know when she needs to go outside any time of day. If you ask you, "Outside?" she will jump and kick off of your thigh with her hind legs. Sometimes leaving bruises. My friend Melissa says she looks like my husband. It must be the beards they both sport.

Learning to Let Go.

*** I wrote this about 7 years ago in my English 1010 coarse at Weber State. I love this personal narrative about myself. There was so much going on during that time of my life that confused me so much. I was torn by what life/path I should choose. I love the life I live. We all have our hard times. My life would have been dramatically different if I had gone another way. I would have been a totally different person then I am today. I think the at the core of me I am the same but what other people see has changed. My general ideas on life are very different and I am much more open to new things. I think the "core" or "inner me" is a very fragile being. So the outer me had to get strong to protect my core self. The biggest lesson I have learned in the past 7 year is to let anger go. Anger will kill you. When I was first married some of my in laws hurt my feeling very badly for reasons not even worth bringing up. When I would tell people what happened my blood pressure would skyrocket. I would get dizzy and have a head ache. After about 6 months I had to move on. It was to painful physically to let that anger take over me. Now don't get me wrong. I am still a little jaded. Hello. I am a women. ;) but there is no reason to get angry over something that happened so long ago and can not change. There are more benefits that happened during that time then there are negatives. For exampled: within the first month of my marriage I learned my husband would stand by me no matter what. I learned who I could trust and who can see the true fragile core of myself. I also learned I could move on and forgive. Now when bad things happen I get upset, yell, or cry and then I move on. If it's something I can't change, why be angry. You will die faster if you're angry. ***

Every morning I wake up to the same annoying blasting beep at about 7:30. As I lay in bed trying to ignore the antagonizing beep of my alarm clock, I slowly open my bloodshot red eyes and say, Just five more minutes.
My hand slams down on the snooze button, and I take my five extra minutes of sleep. But, on this morning, as I fell back asleep I begin to dream of being with my grandpa. I am sitting with him in a retirement home, but it is as if he does not belong here because he is so young.
I ask, Why are we here?
He says, I am here to help guide you to help find your true self and the person you want to be.
As I sit in the retirement home with my grandpa, he holds my hand and looks so deeply into my eyes, it is as if he knew my thoughts, dreams, anger, worries, and love. He smiles at me and squeezes my hand and says,
"I know a lot about you! I know your sins, your accomplishments, and the pain you feel in your heart day after day." I close my eyes and take a deep breath, as he looks at me and says, "You're not happy. Why are you so scared of letting go?"
"Letting go of what?" I ask.
"Of everything! Your whole life you have been doing everything your family, friends, church and society have been telling you. Now your heart is broken and you wake up every morning depressed because you are 19 years old and don't have the slightest clue of who you are!"
"I know who I am. I am a good person who is loving and helpful and kind. I am a hard worker, I am honest, and I am trustworthy." I protest as my heart falls to the ground.
"Yes, you are all those things, but why is it that everyday you are afraid because you are not sure of yourself. You question what you know to be true in your heart and when you look in the mirror all you can see is emptiness and confusion in your face. I am here to help you break away from what is holding you back and to help you feel joy instead of sadness." He leans in and touches my face and says, "I have been there, except no one helped me so I didn't grow as a person. I held the same confusion as you, but I grasped at it until the day I died. That is why I appear so young to you and in a retirement home. The turning point in my life was 30 years old; this is when I could no longer change because I was set in my ways. I had a wife and children, and I could not go off and find myself. I had to work at my job day in and day out; that I hated, just to put food on the table. There was no more time for just me." He looks at me with a loving stare, knowing how I feel, he whispers; "I come to you now because you are young enough to change. Your heart and mind are open enough for suggestion. You feel the pain of what is missing in your life. I cannot tell you what you need to do to find, what you search for. I am here to tell you that now is the time to look. Don't worry what people think of you. Have hope and pray everyday. Let your heart guide you to what you need to do. Deep down you know. You just don't want to let go. Don't be afraid! If you are worried about what God thinks, he is happy with you. He doesn't care as long as you are true to yourself. That is the only true test in life. Be happy and discover yourself. Do not let anything hold you back and you will do just fine."
With my Grandpas kiss on my forehead, I suddenly woke up to my alarm clock. My five minutes are up. I slowly get up, turn on the light, walk to the mirror and take a deep breath. Today is going to be a good day, and so is tomorrow.